I ain't gonna work on Josh's farm no more - Etsy's Fake Free Shipping is a farce

A waning half moon provides an appropriate time to say that I think my days of selling lampwork bead sets on Etsy may be coming to an end.  

At the end of July, Etsy management are threatening to prioritise in their search engine only sellers offering free shipping to US customers.

If we don't want to absorb the cost ourselves, we have to roll it into the price of our items which is problematic for a number of reasons that are being pointed out to management and they aren't taking any notice.

What it boils down to for my shop is this. If I increase my cost per item to cover "free" shipping, it isn't free and it isn't fair to customers who buy multiple items and customers whose countries are cheaper to ship to than the USA. 

This is FAKE FREE SHIPPING.

Here's a link to a YouTube video which covers the things that have been making me angry for days now and it isn't lessening the more I think about it, I'm gnashing my teeth about being coerced into running my business in a different way by people who I PAY. If I added up all the fees Etsy have charged me over the last eight years I would probably have a heart attack and now they're trying to push ME around! Shouldn't I be the boss of them if I'm paying for the privilege of selling my items on their platform?

The New Moon is on 1 August and as that's the day I will find out if Etsy carry out their threat, this is the Universe telling me it's a good time to start doing something else, I know this seems like I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face because Josh Silverman won't even notice I'm gone but I have to protest. I have told him what I think in the Etsy survey and in the Etsy forums but I'm sure he's still going to do it. 

I want to leave right now but MTM has persuaded me to wait and see if it happens first of all and then take time to see what impact it has on my business.

But this is a pattern with me, I did it years ago, quit a job I liked that was well paid for a super boss because of an unfairness over bonus payments.

In the short term I regretted it, it felt reckless, daft and short sighted, but in the end it led me to going back to college. I retrained and had a whole other career in IT for a while that paid even better. But again, I had to leave because things outside of my control dictated who I worked for and I had no respect for my new boss.

Ultimately, that's how I ended up doing what I do now, leading a creative life which I love (it's unfortunately NOT very well paid!) but that's what I do ...I leave things I love behind and I cannot stop myself, I know if Etsy carry out their threat to send my shop into search obscurity, I will do it and there's not a damn thing anyone can say to dissuade me. 

If the pattern continues, it will lead to something even better next and I can't wait to find out what that is!

Long tall sally crocheted scarf pattern

ABBREVIATIONS (using UK terms)

st - stitch

ch - chain

tr - treble

htr - half treble

PSM - place stitch marker in previous ch (or st) just worked

dc - double crochet

sts - stitches

MATERIALS

2.5mm and 3.00mm crochet hook
I used Rico's Creative Melange one 50g ball was enough for my scarf (65 inches long by two and a half inches wide), if you make yours longer or shorter, you may need to adjust yarn quantities.
Darning needle
Two stitch markers

GAUGE

32 st x 20 rows worked in pattern equates to 4 inches though please note, the width of the finished scarf is only two and a half inches. It's a tall and skinny scarf (hence the name!)

HOW TO WORK THE SPECIAL STITCHES IN THIS PATTERN

dangle ending:

3 tr in 4th chain from hook, 4 tr in next ch, 4 htr in next ch, 1 htr in next ch

dtr3tog:

yo twice, insert hook in previously worked st, yo, pull through st (4 loops on hook), (yo, pull through 2 loops) twice (2 loops on hook), yo twice, skip 1 st, insert hook in next st, yo, pull through st (5 sts on hook), (yo, pull through 2 loops) twice (3 loops on hook), yo twice, skip 1 st, insert hook in next st, yo, pull through st (6 loops on hook), (yo, pull through 2 loops) twice, yo, pull through 4 loops on hook, ch 3

dtrxst:

yo twice, skip 1 st, insert hook in next st, yo, pull through st (4 loops on hook), yo, pull through two loops, yo, skip 1 st, insert hook in next st, yo pull through st (5 loops on hook), (yo, pull through 2 loops) 4 times (1 loop on hook), the stitch looks like an upside down lowercase “y”, ch 1, tr in intersection of the “y” to complete an “X” shape

FOUNDATION ROW

If, like me, your chains tend to be on the tight side, use a 2.5mm hook to ch multiples of 4 (I did 464), change to 2mm hook, ch a further 22, make a dangle ending (see above special stitches), dc in each of next 15ch, PSM, dc in every ch to end, 15 ch, turn

Row 1:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 8ch, htr in next st, tr in next st, dtr in next st, ch 1, dtr3tog, *ch 3, dtr3tog, repeat from * until 2 sts before you reach the stitch marker

ch 1, dtr in previous st (indicated above), tr in next st, htr in next st, ch 18, turn

Row 2:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 11ch, dc in each of next 3 sts, dc in 1ch sp,

dc in centre of dtr3tog, PSM, * 3 dc in 3ch sp, dc in centre of dtr3tog, repeat from all along length, ending with dc into the centre of the final dtr3tog, ch 20, turn

NB do not worry if your work curls a bit like this like mine, it will even out later

Row 3:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 13 ch, dc in every st up to and including stitch marker, remove stitch marker, ch 29, turn

Row 4:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 19 ch, htr in next ch, tr in next ch, dtr in next ch, ch 1, PSM, *dtrxst, ch 1, repeat from * all along length, ending with ch 1

NB Each dtrxst should span a 3ch space inbetween the dtr3togs worked on row 1

The final repeat should span the final 3ch space of row 1 (as above), skip 1 st, dtr in next st, tr in next st, htr in next st, ch 26, turn

Row 5:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 19 ch, dc in each of next 3sts, dc in 1ch space, PSM, * dc in next st, dc in 1 ch sp, repeat from * all along length up to and including marker, remove marker, ch 23

Row 6:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 16 ch, dc in every stitch all along length until stitch just before marker, remove marker, ss into next stitch, fasten off. First half of Long Tall Sally scarf complete.

FOUNDATION FOR SECOND HALF

Turn scarf upside-down. With the end with three dangles to your right, identify the third ch from the foundation row (see below). Reattach yarn there and then ch 22, turn

Row 7:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 15 ch, dc in same ch as yarn reattached, dc in each of next 4 st, PSM, dc in every ch all along length until stitch indicated below

ch 18, turn

Row 8:

make a dangle ending,  dc in each of next 8 ch, htr in next ch, tr in next ch, dtr in next ch, dtr3tog, *3 ch, dtr3tog, repeat from * working the final leg of the dtr3tog where stitch marker is, remove stitch marker, ch 1, dtr in same st, tr in next st, htr in next st, ch 13, turn

Row 9:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 6 ch, dc in each of next 3 sts, PSM, dc in 1 ch sp, dc in centre of dtr3tog, *3 dc in 3 ch sp, dc in centre of dtr3tog, repeat from * ending with final dtr3tog, dc in each of next 2 sts, ch 20, turn

Row 10:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 13 ch, dc in next 3 sts, PSM, dc in every st all along the length up to and including stitch where stitch marker is, remove stitch marker, ch 21, turn

Row 11:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 11ch, PSM, dc in each of next 2 ch, 1 htr in next ch, 1 tr in next ch, 1 dtr in next st, *ch 1, dtr in next st, repeat from * all along length, ending in dtr in st where stitch marker is, remove stitch marker, tr in next st, htr in next st, ch 24, turn

Row 12:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 17ch, dc in next st, PSM, dc in each of next 3 st, *dc in 1 ch sp, dc in next st, repeat from * all along until you have no more ch sps, dc in each remaining st up to and including where stitch marker is, remove stitch marker, ch 17, turn

Row 13:

make a dangle ending, dc in each of next 10ch, dc in every stitch all along length up to and including stitch marker, remove stitch marker, ss in next st, fasten off.

FINISHING

Blocking does not make much difference to this scarf's finished appearance but do feel free to block if you have any curling issues as it will straighten this out.

Close up of the dangle endings.

Crochet lacy dress scarf - written pattern

I published the chart for my lacy dress scarf at the back end of last year. It has had a lot of hits on it recently, I imagine people are looking for lightweight scarf patterns for summer. A few have asked for written instructions and I'm delighted to now be able to oblige. I’ve included some photos as well. I know when I’m following a pattern for the first time, pictures can be very reassuring.

All instructions are written in UK crochet terms

Materials
This version uses 2.5mm crochet hook and 2 x 50g balls of Rico Creative Melange laceweight yarn although much will depend on how long and wide you make your scarf, adjust yarn amount accordingly

Abbreviations

ch - chain

dtr - double treble 

sp - space

dc - double crochet

Foundation row:

Make a slip knot on your hook, ch multiples of 7 plus a further 8. For this version, I chained 43, ie 5 x 7 = 35 + 8 = 43. (2 dtr, ch 1, 2 dtr) in 10th ch from hook * ch 1, skip 6 ch (2 dtr, ch 1, 2 dtr) in next ch, repeat from * until 5 ch remain, ch1, skip 4 ch, dtr in final ch, turn

Row 1:

ch 7, dc in first 1 ch sp, (see photo below for the place)

ch 3 * skip 2 dtr (2 dtr, ch 1, 2 dtr) in 1 ch sp, 3 ch, skip 2 dtr, dc in 1 ch sp, 3 ch, repeat from * until you reach 9 ch at the end (see picture below for how work will look at this stage)

(dc, 3 ch, dtr) in 9 ch sp, turn

Row 2:

ch 5, * (2dtr, ch 1, 2 dtr) in 1 ch sp marked “1”,

ch 1, repeat from * working only into the 1 ch sp inbetween dtrs indicated by numbers on the photo until you reach 7 ch at the end, dtr into 7 ch sp, turn 

Row 3:

Same as row 1, except the ch sp you work into at the end is a 5 ch sp

and this will be true for all subsequent repeats

Repeat rows 2 and 3 for the length desired ending on a row 2, do not fasten off. 

Bottom finishing row:

ch 4, skip (1 ch, 2 dtr)

*(2 dtr, 1 ch, 2 dtr) in 1 ch sp indicated above, ch 3, skip 2 dtr,

dc in next 1 ch sp indicated above, ch 3, skip 2 dtr, repeat from * moving along the row, ending on (2 dtr, 1 ch, 2 dtr) in 1 ch sp

ch 4, dc in 5 ch sp indicated, fasten off

Top finishing row:

Turn work upside down with yarn tail to your left. Rejoin yarn in 7 ch sp at right hand corner indicated above, leaving a tail long enough to weave in later, ch 4, *skip rest of chs in the ch sp

(2 dtr, 1 ch, 2 dtr) in ch sp indicated above, ch 3, dc in 6 ch sp, ch 3, repeat from * ending with (2dtr, 1 ch, 2dtr)

ch 4, dc in corner st indicated, fasten off. Weave in ends.

Add a fringe of your choice or you can make the one I did. I originally found the instructions for this bobble fridge via Pinterest on Once Upon a Pink Moon's blog. I thoroughly recommend you go look and see all the things Robin gets up to on her blog, she is a very creative and talented lady. On that website it's written in US terms so I've converted it to UK terms for you here and I have modified it ever so slightly. I'm including a few photographs here to show you exactly how to add it to this scarf.

Step 1 - Rejoin yarn by making a slip knot loop and pulling through the first 1ch sp (indicated above), ch 1, dc in same sp

Step 2 - ch 9, yo, insert hook in 3rd ch, yo, pull yarn through, yo, pull yarn through 2 loops (2 loops on hook) *yo, insert hook into same ch, yo, pull yarn through, yo, pull yarn through 2 loops (3 loops on hook), repeat from * once (4 loops on hook) **

Step 3 - yo, pull yarn through 4 loops, ch 3 (see below for how your work will look)

Step 4 - yo, insert hook into 3rd ch from hook (indicated above), yo, pull yarn through, yo, pull yarn through 2 loops (2 loops on hook), repeat from * to ** twice 

Step 5 - yo, pull through 4 loops. Insert hook into the V of the ch at the bottom of the first bobble indicated below. This has the effect of “folding” the two bobbles on top of each other.

NB It's quite fiddly to do, you will need to wiggle the tip of the hook into each side separately, it is quite tight because of the number of stitches worked into it already.

Step 6 - yo, pull yarn through (2 loops on hook), yo, pull through both loops, ch 6, skip (2 dtr, 3 ch, dc, 3 ch, 2 dtr), dc in 1 ch sp indicated below

Repeat steps 2 to 6 all the way along, ending in final 1 ch sp with dc, fasten off. Repeat the fringe on the other end and then weave in all ends.

The scarf will benefit from blocking, it brings out the lacy stitches beautifully. Drop the scarf in a bowl of tepid water and then very gently squeeze the excess water out (do not wring!) Roll it up in a dry towel to blot out some more. Lay the scarf on fresh dry towels (I needed two laid end to end) over carpet or a blocking board and then pin it out gently, stretching it a little as you go using rustless stainless steel pins. Pay particular attention to the "points" created on the finishing rows by placing a pin in the 1 ch sp, being careful to keep them in a straight line.

Leave to dry overnight and then you can wear it! 

Chunky crochet fingerless mittens - free top down pattern

Here is the free pattern, tutorial and instructions for my chunky crochet fingerless mittens. I have made mine in Katia Azteca in a gorgeous red (shade no 7809). Azteca is classed as an aran weight yarn but you can use any chunkyish yarn as long as the gauge works out as 14 stitches and 8 rows in treble equals four inches.

A good suggested substitute yarn is Rico Creative Melange Chunky which crochets up to the same gauge.

The pattern really is quite easy to do. Most of the stitches are just UK trebles. The ribbing effect also uses trebles but instead of ordinary trebles, we use front post trebles (fprt) alternated with back post trebles (bptr). The thumb and shaping might look daunting for beginners but I walk you through that bit using detailed instructions and photographs so you know what it should look like.

I think this is a perfect pattern for a beginner looking to expand their stitch repertoire. If you can do chains, slip stitches and trebles, all you have to do before trying this pattern is to look up how to do the front and back post trebles and familiarise yourself with 2trtog for shaping. An explanation of how to do 2trtog is included in the pattern abbreviations below.

Here is a link to a video guide of how to do front post treble (FPtr)
NB, the video is made using American terms which is why they could it a front post double but don't worry about that, just follow the video and do it exactly as its shown.

Here is a link to a video guide of how to do back post treble (BPtr)

We're making these mittens top down, so we start at the fingers end and finish at the wrist

All instructions use UK crochet terminology

MATERIALS

60 grams Katia Azteca (108 metres/119 yards)
5.5mm hook

GAUGE

14 stitches and 8 rows in trebles = 4 inches

ABBREVIATIONS (UK terminology)

ch chain

ss slip stitch
st stitch

tr treble

FPtr front post treble

BPtr back post treble

2trtog 

yoh yarn over hook

Here is an explanation for 2trtog:
The stitch is worked as follows over two sts and joins two trs at the top to reduce the stitch count by one
yoh, insert hook into first st, yoh, pull yarn through first st (3 loops on hook), yoh, pull yarn through first two loops (2 loops on hook) yoh, insert hook into second st, yoh, pull yarn through st (4 loops on hook), yoh, pull yarn through 2 loops (3 loops on hook), yoh, pull loop through remaining 3 loops (1 loop on hook)

INSTRUCTIONS

Foundation row: ch 26, ss into first ch to form a circle

Row 1: ch 3 (to count as first tr), tr in each ch all round, ss into top ch of beginning 3 ch (26 trs)

Row 2: ch 2 (counts as first tr), FPtr in next st, *BPtr in next st, FPtr in next st, repeat from * to end, ss into top ch of beginning 2 ch (26 sts)

Row 3: Repeat row 2

Row 4: ch 3 (counts as 1 tr), 1 tr in each st all round, 1 tr into st at the base of 3 ch, ss into top ch of beginning 3 ch (27 trs)

Row 5: ch 8,

 skip next 2 sts, ss into next st to form a semi-circle,

ch 3 (counts as first tr),

tr in each of next 23 stitches, 1 tr into base of st where semi-circle starts (25 trs),

1 tr in each ch of 8 ch, (photo below indicates where first tr should go)

(the photo below shows what it looks like half way through the 8 trs)

(the photo below shows what it looks like when you've completed all 8 trs and where to put the next ss)

ss into top of beginning 3 ch (33 trs)

Row 6: ch 3 (counts as 1 tr), 1 tr in next 27 trs, 2trtog, 1 tr in each of next 3 sts, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (32 sts)

Row 7: ch 3 (counts as 1 tr) , 1 tr in next 27 sts, 2trtog, 1 tr in each of next 2 sts, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (31 sts)

Row 8: ch 3 (counts as 1 tr), 1 tr in next 27 sts, 2trtog, 1 tr in next st, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (30 sts)

Row 9: ch 3 (counts as 1 tr), 1 tr in next 27 sts, 2trtog, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (29 sts)

Row 10: ch 3, 1 tr in each of next 26 sts, 2trtog, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (28 sts)

Row 11: ch 3, 1 tr in each of next 25 sts, 2trtog, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (27 sts)

Row 12: 2 ch, yoh, insert hook in next st, yoh, pull loop through st (3 loops on hook), yoh, pull yarn through 2 loops (2 loops on hook), yoh, pull yarn through 2 loops (counts as 2trtog), 1 tr in each of next 12 sts, 2trtog, 1 tr in each of next 9 sts, 2trtog, ss in top of beginning 2trtog (24 sts)

Row 13: 3 ch (counts as 1 tr), 1 tr in all sts all round, ss in top ch of beginning 3 ch (24 trs)

Row 14: 2 ch, FPtr in next st *BPtr in next st, FPtr in next st repeat from * to end, ss in top ch of beginning 2 ch (24 sts)

Row 15: repeat row 14

Row 16: repeat row 14, fasten off and weave in ends

Both mittens are the same, make two. 

Edit: There is now a matching chunky ribbed scarf pattern