Sunday, 27 September 2009

Sue World ... join us!

Carlisle Mini CC torch marverI've had another "wish I wasn't a girl" moment today. For the last couple of weeks, I have been attempting to apply handmade murrini to my bead surfaces but these tiny scraps of prettiness (from Lori and Kim's Etsy shop), ideally need preheating - they stick much better then and it saves much swearing when the murrini falls off your bead. Once I get the hang of applying murrini, the big plan is for me to make my own.

The ideal thing to pre-heat murrini is a torch-mounted marver so I bought one (see pic). It duly arrived last week and this morning, I have been attempting to attach it to my Carlisle Mini CC torch. All I have to do is undo a nut on the torch, put the hole in the marver over the thread and do up the nut ... easy! The marver is then close enough to the heat generated by the torch to get to an ideal murrini warming temperature.

I locate a spanner of the right dimensions (pat on the back), but there's not really room for it to undo the nut. In a burst of inspiration (some kind of guy gene kicking in I think), I realise that what I need is the corresponding sized socket and this too is found (at this point, I start to think about growing a moustache). Anyway, can I undo this blimmin' nut .... NO, I can't (sigh).

Then I get cross with myself about wishing I wasn't a girl cos actually I pretty much like it 98% of the time. The problem is these people who invent nuts, taps and suchlike that cannot be undone by the average female. I am not a weak, feeble person - I hardly ever resort to man-power for undoing jars - my trick is an elastic band round the top and then the extra grip usually allows me to undo them. I can wire a plug, change lightbulbs, top up the oil and washers in my car (in the days when I had one) I am a capable person - I should be able to do this. I decided that there really should be a law which prohibits the doing up of nuts to an impossibly difficult degree, furthermore, it would be deemed to be sexist behaviour and subject to the Sexual Discrimination Laws along with an unlimited fine for offenders.

When I got thinking about it, actually, I could invent several new laws in an alternative world whereby all nuts could be undone by myself ...

In Sue World, all clothes would be made of fabrics that never need ironing.

In Sue World, all mice would be housetrained and use litter trays.

In Sue World, grass would mow itself.

In Sue World, dust is abolished. We don't need it and what's it for, anyway? I remember learning about dust at school - all I can remember about it is that a tiny proportion of it is shedded cells of skin ... yeurghhhh! Any duster manufacturers would be compensated and given training in producing alternative products.

In Sue World, hair would grow to the length you wanted to minimise haircuts, and then start growing again as soon as you wanted to wear it longer.

Last but by no means least, in fact after the nut tightening law, this would be the most important one - in Sue World, the BBC would NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES cancel the Sunday re-run of Merlin due to the Formula 1 racing, causing me to miss my weekend Anthony Head fix.

Please do feel free to suggest any other laws that you think could be considered for inclusion in the Sue World Charter!


  1. I agree with all that Sue. I wanna join Sue-world!

    A few months ago I tried opening up a jar of cockles, my mouth always starts to water for some reason when I think of them so I just HAD to have them! But could I open up the damn lid??!! - I had every implement under the lid trying to prise the damn thing off! Chris wasn't around so couldn't ask him. I must've spent half an hour salivating at the thought of eating them and was SOoooo disappointed that I couldn't get in them! In my frustration I "googled" the manufacturer of the jar of cockles so I could write to them to tell them how stupid their lids were! I got a response from them sending me a special opening tool!! It's much easier now! In fact, I'm sure that the next time I had a jar, underneath the lid was a message advertising their special opening tool!! - how stupid is that??? DERR

    Love Sandy

  2. Hi Sandy - wow, that's good service from the cockles supplier! I must buy some cockles next time I do a Tesco order so I can get one too :-)


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